Body language is a critical communication tool in dating and attraction. It’s an elaborate system of subconscious signals that has the power to provide unique insight into how your dates are developing and the significant but silent messages being sent back and forth. To get a peek under the covers of communication, Elite Singles spoke with dating and image therapist Kimberly Seltzer. Seltzer, a renowned body image, style, and dating expert and coach in Los Angeles, shares her knowledge of body language with us in our exclusive article.

The human body, our gestures and our physicality, constantly communicate with the outside, whether in a business or personal environment. Arguably, body language can speak louder than verbal communication. Understanding that people are always scanning and interpreting the unspoken messages being passed around, it’s easy to realise the importance of body language, attraction, and communication styles in.

The Dating Scene.

Understanding the mechanics of body language can empower you with the potential to read the unconscious signs of attraction and send your own secret signals to turn your date on. For her own superpowers of communication and connection, we looked at both female body language, attraction, and her dialect, and also investigated reading male attraction body language.

Because men and women communicate differently, it helps to understand the different messages being communicated. Dating expert Adam LoDolce sees that the secret to success in mastering men’s body language is understanding that it’s a different language altogether. So, let’s break down the differences and similarities in body language of attraction in men and women.



Body language is defined as the conscious and unconscious movements and postures through which attitudes and feelings are communicated. 1 . It can be understood simply as communication without words; It is often unintentional and multifaceted, leaving it open to interpretation and misinterpretation, and thus adding a complex layer to communication. 2 .

Seltzer explains that 93% of communication is nonverbal, so what you say isn’t as important as how you present yourself. 3 . You are communicating messages without even opening your mouth, and those messages are also unconsciously read and interpreted in a feedback communication channel that forms between individuals in dialogue, on a date, or even in the same room as each other.


When it comes to the body language of attraction, there are certain cues one can learn to intercept and decode. Seltzer confirms, “I find that there are different flirting techniques, messages, and body cues that both genders show when they’re interested in someone.” He goes on to explain that there are some easy signals that are given if he really likes you. It’s important to understand these messages because, Seltzer expands, if these cues aren’t read or displayed, people are left wondering if their date was interested in them or if they leave feeling like there was no chemistry.’

It’s important to notice these signs so you can feel confident about moving forward with things! To give you this opportunity, we’ve outlined below the secret cues men and women use to subconsciously communicate attraction using only their body language.


Our body language expert, Seltzer, decodes the secret signs of attraction body language. She explains that there are three main methods of subtly, quietly, and sincerely sending attraction messages: facial expressions, body cues, and grooming. Let’s take a look at how to read powerful yet mute body language messages from both men and women. You can use these identifiers on your next appointment to send and receive the necessary details, if you wish, to successfully turn on the heat and surprise your partner.

How to read female body language: attraction unpacked

So how come single women put their hands up and say, “I like you”?

facial expressions:

The key areas to pay attention to are the eyes and lips. One of the easiest ways to flirt is a smile. A smile is a way of getting your attention, and if a woman is smiling at you, she’s probably trying to get your attention. But she doesn’t end there. As the adage goes, the eyes are the window to the soul. That eye movement is the basis for the notoriously shy look, the eyes that meet, the talking, and the sparks that fly.

Body signals:

Body posture speaks its own language of love: you just need to focus on the signs and know how to translate them! Pay close attention to your chest and your hands. Women often draw attention to the neck, shoulders, and wrists to attract attention. Unconscious acts like shrugging, twirling her hair, showing the inside of her wrists, and massaging her own neck are all subtle invitations for you to get close to her. Women will engage in these seductive moves to unconsciously encourage a potential partner. Consider these signals a green light and go ahead!

Grooming gestures:

It is often a mistake to think of women as peacocks, preening and parading for their own pride. The purpose of this type of display is rather an instinctive evolutionary response to attract a suitable mate. Like a bird cleaning and straightening its feathers, women groom themselves to feel and look attractive and catch their partner’s attention. Many men confuse this interest with vanity. If your date seems to be looking in the mirror a lot, putting on lipstick after coming back from the bathroom, fixing and playing with her hair, or fixing her dress, she’s more likely trying to impress you than obsessing over herself.

How to read male body language: communication And Attraction

Now let’s explore ways to understand male body language and translate the message behind the man and the mystery.

facial expressions: communication And Attraction

As with women, pay close attention to a man’s eyes and lips. The easiest way to flirt with a man is also a smile; a crooked, mischievous smile, all James Dean laid back and cool with playboy charm. So, a man will do something very distinctive with his lips if he likes you. If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically part for a second when his eyes first meet, and then his eyes will scan his date’s body, communicating his physical attraction to her. him for his beauty. Finally, a man will display an almost animalistic expression by flaring his nostrils as he catches his eye! He also communicates with his eyes. When a man sees someone he is attract to, he raises his eyebrows making his eyes look bright, big and attractive.

Body signals:

The movement of a man’s body indicates his interest and masculinity. There are unconscious acts that men engage in when they are first attracted to you. A man will accentuate his physical size by standing with his hands on his hips or spreading his legs while he is sitting across from his potential mate for an “open” display. He may also move in an excited way and stand close, perhaps touching lightly to connect and say ‘I like you more than a friend’. Surprisingly, just like the women, the men also play with his hair. You will run your hands through it or smooth it out depending on what style you are sporting to make it look more attractive.

Grooming gestures: communication And Attraction

Women are traditionally believe to be the sex that struts and struts to impress. However, although it developed differently, men also “peacock,” engaging in preening and grooming behaviors to communicate attraction. He might fix his socks by lifting or adjusting them, fidgeting with the buttons on his jacket (which may be an unconscious desire to take off his clothes), or patting his tie. These are all ways of saying that he likes you enough to want to look good for you. So if she’s messing around and sprucing up, it’s not necessarily nerves, but her way of making sure she looks her best on Sunday to impress! flirtwith


In short, men and women are design to send and receive these signs of attraction. While the behavioral patterns that make up its code. Do not differ significantly between men and women. It is imperative that messages are not lost in translation. As this layer of communication unfolds silently and subtly, meaning. That a message can easily disappear. evil.

The biggest battle may just be fixing the channels of communication between a couple. Losing yourself in your own nerves or feelings can result in not picking up on. The signals being sent to you and not being selective and aware of the messages you are sending yourself. Remember to focus on facial expressions, particularly. The eyes and lips, body cues with flirtatious cues, and grooming gestures if you’re unsure. These are the hot spots in the silent game of attraction body language, and whether you choose it or not. You are saying something with every moment, gesture, and physiological response.

Learn this love language to master the code and confidently use it to author. The messages you send to your partner, bringing your relationships and communications to life in a whole new way. Body language takes communication to a primal, often subconscious level. To be empowered, use these skills to your advantage by crossing. The great divide between “he doesn’t love me” to “he loves me” by using communication, including body language, to authentically connect.


To use this superpower to its full potential, Seltzer outlined his expert dating tips for correctly sending. Receiving, and interpreting your date’s signs of interest and attraction—and how to send some of your own.

Sender: communicate your interest – communication And Attraction

  1. Sit very close so you can connect with your date’s body. Touch, smell, and other senses can really build chemistry and stimulate attraction when you’re around them.
  2. You saw the part. Put the intention behind planning your date outfit so that you look and, more importantly, feel sexy, confident, and attractive.
  3. Use your eyes and smile. Eye contact and smiling are POWERFUL because. They show that you are interest, engage, and connect.

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Receiver: reading the signs of your date

  1. Get out of your own head and pay attention to how your date communicates with her body. Most people are more concern with how they look than who they are with, in. which case the opportunity to cultivate that attraction is lost.
  2. Make eye contact with your date. Really look at. Them and connect with your eyes to see if they are giving you signals or if their pupils are dilated!
  3. Sometimes the silent messages are the strongest. Look at your date’s hands and mouth. The angle they’re sitting at, and the movements they’re making. The answer will be there.

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